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Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  I'll feel better for a little bit, but then I'll feel really guilty for SI'ing when I'm pregnant
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  Hurting myself will bring temporary relief. It will take away the month and a half I've gone without SI and will take away my willpower to keep going to the end of this pregnancy without SI'ing
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  I want to feel stable. Normal. Not Bipolar. I have 2 weeks till my pdoc appt and can't make it any earlier
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  I'm not sure how long it will last. Surely not long enough. I'll probably fall asleep before the relief wears off. Tomorrow will be hell though
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  I could take my medicines early and just go to sleep. It will prevent me from SI'ing and maybe I can call my pdoc tomorrow morning first thing to try to get in.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  I'll feel like shit if I SI. I'll feel cruddy but accomplished if I don't
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I just want to feel normal. I'm all out of whack. I'm depressed, I'm manic, I'm irritable and it sucks.


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I need balance. I need to feel normal for just one moment
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Yes, and I cut, and it worked for the time being
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? I've taken a hot shower, and I've posted here and responded to some posts on main
  
  I could take my meds and go to sleep
• How do I feel right now?
  
  Unstable
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  
  In control of what I feel
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  
  More level, controlled. I'll feel either numb or like complete shit tomorrow
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  
  My symptoms have been coming back slowly but surely. I could have called my Pdoc earlier. But I didn't. I don't know why. Maybe figured if I ignored it it would go away...thats dumb though
• Do I need to hurt myself?

No but I really really want to


Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.