bus

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

• have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
  
  Yeah.
• what had happened just before?
  
  My girlfriend broke up with me. She told me I wasn't strong enough and I was disappointing and that it was ok to cut because she was going to and it was all my fault.
• what were you thinking and feeling?
  
  That I wasn't good enough. That no one will ever love me again.
• why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
  
  I had a rough night last night and ended up getting stoned instead of cutting. I needed some support from my girlfriend, needed a little bit of praise for not cutting, but instead she told me off.
• how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
  
  It was her decision to break up with me. There's nothing I could have done.
• were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
  
  I have bipolar disorder, and I've been coming down from an extreme manic episode. Unfortunately it's the weekend and I can't call my pdoc until Monday.
• what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
  
  I've been listening to music, watching TV, talking online to a BUS friend, knitting, and petting the cat. Obviously, they didn't work.
• in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
  
  Dunno.
• name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
  
  Well, as I don't know what else I could have done....
• how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
  
  There's nothing I can do. I still love her. Breaking up was all on her.
  
  
• are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
  
  Well, now that I'm not with her, I don't suppose I will be back in this same place again.
  
  
• what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

Well, with any luck, she won't be breaking up with me again, so there's no point.

*hug* not sure what kind of response you'd like, just thought I'd pop in and say I read... I hope you are doing better

getting dumped is a REALLY hard stressor to deal with, probably one of the worst. I"m not saying what you did is okay, i'm just saying i understand because i just got dumped about a month ago.
You'll just be stronger and more prepared the next time it happens, because you'll have more experience with it.