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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  I might feel more stable.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  Hurting myself will bring nothing, but it will take away the feelings of panic and discomfort.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  I just want these feelings to stop. Cutting will most likely make them stop.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  The relief will last until I realize what I have done.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  I could talk to friends or work on knitting Christmas presents. It won't change anything, but it would distract me.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  I will be very angry if I hurt myself because I am two days shy of making six monts SI free. If I talk to friends and knit, I will be proud of myself for making it through the urges.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  
  I don't know. I'm very confused about my feelings tonight.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  
  No.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  
  I've talked to a friend, worked on knitting Christmas gifts, curled up under my blankets, and pet the cat.
• How do I feel right now?
  
  I feel scared, confused, panicked.
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  
  Better. Calmer
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  
  Angry at myself.
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  
  I don't know where this feeling has come from, so I don't know how to avoid it.
• Do I need to hurt myself?

No.

Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.