Before
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:26 am
Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
I just want to focus, I need to find a way to focus but I can't find it. I just want to hide away until I feel I can get on with things.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
I still feel I do, I just want to so badly, I can't though, I have nothing to hurt myself with, I just need some way to get this mental block out of my head, but how???
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll finally be able to get on with some work without feeling so down. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It'll bring the fact I can properly focus, not take away anything though... - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I just want to be able to focus, and for now I know it'll get me closer to that, for now... - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Until the end of lesson (so like half an hour) but then trying not to think about my cuts around my friends is hard. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Well I could eat the rest of my lunch, it'll keep me distracted and I wont be moaning I'm hungry, but I've already eaten goodness knows how much of it and it's not working. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
No different to the other times I've hurt myself, slightly miffed, but I'll move on. The other thing well...erm...no different really. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I just want to focus, I need to find a way to focus but I can't find it. I just want to hide away until I feel I can get on with things.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Because I just can't cope with the vast size of work at hand, and the fact I'm hungry and tired is NOT helping. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Erm well kind off, just not like in here, but during a lesson, I just went away, had a walk, listened to my music until I felt better, but I haven't got the time. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Well I've eaten crisps, a sandwich and a chocolate bar to try and get rid of the hunger and had a small break before getting back to the work, but I still can't concentrate... - How do I feel right now?
Mentally blocked, as if I can't do anything, need to do something so I can move on, I just don't know what. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Focused, GRRRR I need my tool
Able to get on with things. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I'll feel focused, as if I can get on with things better, and tomorrow morning will just be like a normal day, I'm starting to hide things better, so sadly I don't worry too much... - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Not really, I can't change the day of the presentation or let my workfriend down... - Do I need to hurt myself?
I still feel I do, I just want to so badly, I can't though, I have nothing to hurt myself with, I just need some way to get this mental block out of my head, but how???