after

[wilson]

• what had happened just before?
  i found a family oic from when we were a family
• what were you thinking and feeling?
  i fucking wish i could have this now. i want to be a normal family
• why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
  because i cracked. i just couldnt handle it anymore
• were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
  alcohol.. but its always their these days
• what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
  i put some music on. tried to write in my journal
• how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
  no i cant make my family normal. to move forward i need to stop hoping it will change
  
• are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
  i will. the loud family screaming will make me remember, or the absence of a family at christmas
• What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
  the idea of feeling pain
• Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
  it was there for the taking
• What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
  gone for a walk and made the opportunity
• If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
  increased
• What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
  being alone. having my tool case
• If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

angry

• Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
  yes
• If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
  memories