after.

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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zombiepeople
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after.

Post by zombiepeople » Fri Nov 23, 2007 7:59 pm

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
No...I'll put rubbing alcohol on it in a bit cuz its not too serious.

what had happened just before?
I have problems on Thanksgiving...well actually holidays where I have to get together with family who don't really like me and whom I don't like and eat more than usual which makes me nervous.

what were you thinking and feeling?
I was missing the fun I used to have with this holiday with my mom who's in jail and I can't see, so I was really sad. I was also just mad...sick of my family and mad at myself for disliking them because they're my family I guess.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I'd been fighting the urge for a long time for other things that were stressful, but I just couldn't deal with this anymore.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
It started out as a bad day, and I had to deal with family, having to eat and have everyone watch me eat and comment on how much/how little I eat. It was all just really stressful.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Not really.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried putting on lotion, lighting insence, writing, and playing computer games/video games. They worked for awhile, but not well enough to really help.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Not any that I can really think of...I know that's not helpful :(

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Still journaling, maybe coloring pictures, get some hot tea and do wordsearches or something like that.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I do feel better now about it. There wasn't really anything to resolve, except to maybe talk to some people and just get things off my chest. I'm getting together with a friend who I haven't seen for awhile to hang out so that should be fun.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I'm probably gonna be there again. I guess I have to recognize it before it gets late and gets worse so I dont' end up hurting myself every time things get bad.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
getting some excercize before it gets late at night, coloring/writing, lighting insence, having tea and doing something like a wordsearch to keep something in my hands so I dont' have a free hand to hurt myself.
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
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Post by NobodyToYou » Sat Nov 24, 2007 2:04 am

in reading through stuff, it sounds like you have some really good coping skills for when you are needing comfort or distraction...maybe not so many for when you are feeling angry or frustrated (or feeling guilty about being angry...sounded like that was in there too)?
I know for me, I cannot treat them the same way. When I am angry, I get MORE angry if I try to use "comforting" type things...
I know journalling and talking might help, but it might also help to add some more "physical" type coping things to the list...things that you can pour energy into. Exercise is good, rearranging furniture is good, gardening, pillow fights with children (as long as you know when to stop, of course)...stuff like that might help if your other skills aren't working well.
Another "trick"...don't know if your family has one, but mine used to have an "adult table" and a "kid table"...if people are bothering you too much, eat at the kid table. They probably don't care what you do or don't eat and aren't going to give you as many problems as the adults will. I know that may not work for a lot of people, though.
Hope things get easier now that Thanksgiving is over.

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