bus

Before:

[*]how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will no longer feel the strength of the urge to si, and some of the emotional pain will disappate for a while.

[*]what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Relief for a while, it will take away feeling like I can continue to cope without si'ing, like I can make it through difficult situations effectively.

[*]how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel like I can cope with daily frustrations and stressors without trying to get rid of the feelings in a negative manner. It's likely to get me farther from feeling that way if I do si.

[*]if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I'm unsure how long it will last but if I had the relief I would look at things more objectively b/c I would've severed the emotional connection to it all for a bit.

[*]what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could sleep as I know I am overtired and sleep would make it more possible for me to be able to work on effective coping skills.

[*]how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I would feel angry at myself, disappointed, shameful. If I did something else I would feel like I made it another day and another step closer to reaching my goal of stopping my si'ing.

[*]what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to be angry but don't know how to do that in a way that feels safe. I am unsure right now how I could do that.

I'm glad that you realize that you don't want to hurt yourself, and even though it will make you feel "better" for the time being, it probably isn't worth it. Perhaps you can focus on that. I hate being stressed out, and I know when I am stressed I usually feel like cutting. Is there something you can do to relax? Go for a quick walk, have a soda, watch a little tv, indulge yourself in some way....Perhaps if you want to try to go to bed, lay in bed, close your eyes and just focus on breathing...that usually helps me to fall asleep...I hope you figure things out and find a way to relax a bit. Take care and be gentle with yourself.