Before *Trigger?*
Posted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 7:39 pm
Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It might make me feel less shakey and anxious
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will help me calm down and be able to think more clearly. It will take away the 27(ish) days i have of SI free.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel better forever, but I know by cutting, it will only make it worse because i will have to start all over again.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will probably bring releif until the upcoming holiday is over becuase I am triggered because of my father coming to thanksgiving. He isnt allowed to see me unless I give him permission and it has to go through the courts.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Right now I am at school and I did accidently bring a "tool" with me, but i surrendered it to the guidance councelor. I made something up, like..."I was at work last night and i forgot this was in my pocket" I know i really shouldnt do this, but i cannot help but think about what it would be like to not feel this numbness and anxiety.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I willl feel very guilty and shameful, I will probably even be worse off then than i am now. Which is prettttyyy bad.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to go injure...I dont know how i am going to fight it. I have talked to my friend who also SI's and she understands, she has her tools with her in school all the time and i dont know what the heck im going to do to stay safe. im scared for myself.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It might make me feel less shakey and anxious
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will help me calm down and be able to think more clearly. It will take away the 27(ish) days i have of SI free.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel better forever, but I know by cutting, it will only make it worse because i will have to start all over again.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will probably bring releif until the upcoming holiday is over becuase I am triggered because of my father coming to thanksgiving. He isnt allowed to see me unless I give him permission and it has to go through the courts.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Right now I am at school and I did accidently bring a "tool" with me, but i surrendered it to the guidance councelor. I made something up, like..."I was at work last night and i forgot this was in my pocket" I know i really shouldnt do this, but i cannot help but think about what it would be like to not feel this numbness and anxiety.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I willl feel very guilty and shameful, I will probably even be worse off then than i am now. Which is prettttyyy bad.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to go injure...I dont know how i am going to fight it. I have talked to my friend who also SI's and she understands, she has her tools with her in school all the time and i dont know what the heck im going to do to stay safe. im scared for myself.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.