bus

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  it won't, i still can't change the situation, the feeling, the anxiety wil lessen, the depression will worsen
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  it will bring calm and relief, it'll tae away my ability to cope without SI
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  i don't want to be in this situation, i want my joband SIing maes it harder to get that, but everyhting feels very immediate right now
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  not long enough, i thought it'd last longer last time i did it and it hasn't this is how SI used to be for me and it scares me a bit
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  i could decide i'm defineitly going to see geep, then i'll now where i stand on the job front. i'm struggling with the immediate anything else to do, nothing seems destructive enough as an alternative
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  i don't think i care either way at the moment, it's like i'm trying to find excuses to be allowed toSI, becasue i've stopped being bothered about it.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

i want to get angry, i want to be annoyed that i'm still unemployed, but i don't now who to be angry at, i'm not sure who's fault it is that this is taing so long so i have to tae it out on me.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  job, not nowing when i'll get employed. missing my friends, boredom, stress, everyhting
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  SIed
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  cooked and had lunch, questions on here, relaxation CD, listening to music, cried
• How do I feel right now?
  frightened, apprehensive, sad, frustrated, lost, defeated.
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  calm, relaxed, justified
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  calm and relaxed, tomorrow probably just the same as today
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  no
• Do I need to hurt myself?
  i'm not sure