write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
the situation won't change. but i will feel more in control. less anxious. more able to cope with jsut getting through today. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
take away = some of the emotional pain for a while. bring to = release, making me feel visible/real. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i don't know how i want to feel about this long term really....errrrm, i suppose the best answer i can give is that i just want to feel the opposite of how i do right now. hurting myself isn't likely to get me closer or further from that. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
the relief should...hopefully....last until at least the weekend. after that i will try to find other ways to cope. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could distract myself, which won't change the situation but may make it more bearable. that change will last until i can't distract myself any longer which could be anything from 5mins to 5days as im at work. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
if i hurt myself i will feel a bit guilty tomorrow and sore. if i distract myself i may or may not feel exactly as i do now - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i really want to hurt myself, but i can't as im at work. hence why im doing these questions
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
because i feel invisible and worthless and im not coping with things and i have next to no irl support right now. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
never been here before. never had it so that i had no IRL support, no outlets. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
distract myself. answer these. - How do I feel right now?
very low....a bit su....urgey....anxious...sad - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
calmer. in control. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
directly after - less urgey, less anxious. calmer.
tomorrow - sore, possibly guilty...probably the same as i do now. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i don't know right now. - Do I need to hurt myself?
maybe....