Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- what had happened just before?
i had an appt with the new t i've started seeing and felt like i had rambled about nothing for an hr when i really needed her help. i was happy in the hours before the appt so i didn't feel comfortable blurting out how bad things were. i didn't feel comfortable with the t period.
i was fighting si urges for a number of hours after my appt, but eventually i had to do it. - what were you thinking and feeling?
i was feeling suicidal, lost, hopeless and alone. i was angry at myself for not asking for help and angry at life for letting me be up for a while then dramatically down. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
i was tired and was relieved to go to bed, by late evening. but i only slept an hr or so and woke up with the feelings and thoughts just as bad as before. i couldn't cope with that. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
apart from talking to the t... maybe i could have called my sister or a friend and either gotten advice from them or just some comfort from interacting. also i wish i had realised how low i was and called a crisis line before i went to bed. - were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
i've been off the meds i was on, cos they weren't working, for around 3 weeks. i don't know if they had any affect at all, but maybe a tiny benefit would still have helped. i will think about going on different meds in the next few weeks. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i went into an art gallery for a while, read a book, did puzzles, bought a coffee, bought a cd, came home when being out was a trigger... and slept for a bit. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
i think i coped really well to be honest. there was at least 3 times when i was desperate to si but did something else instead. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
i suppose i need to remember the things i did that did work, even if i si'd eventually. i could write a note for myself and put it in my purse where i keep a 'spare' tool. telling myself i don't really need to cut or suggesting some coping things. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
not resolved unfortunately. i still have 2 weeks til my next t appt, which might be hard to get through. i might make a drs appt in the mean time, if my dr is available. i will also write a note/letter to my t about what happened and see if she can ask more probing q's this time.
- are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
yes it's likely
i will recognise it if i cry a fair amount or if normal coping skills aren't working.
- what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
i will call someone. i will make myself a hot drink. i will come online.
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
it was night time. i had a tool next to my bed. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
there for the taking. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
i always have the opportunity. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
increased. i would have chosen a different method or made a plan to su at a later time. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
generally i have to be alone. - If your opportunities were taken away, how would you feel?
anxious, angry/frustrated