before.

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Neviah
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before.

Post by Neviah » Sat Sep 29, 2007 11:19 pm

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    i wont have the urge anymore. it'll go and i'll feel like a human being again
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    hurting myself could bring bad things to the situation. i could end up losing everyhting, but it could also take away all the tension from me and make me smile.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    hurting myself is, in the long run going to get me farther from feeling that way but it'll work for now.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    wont last long then i'll be forever trapped in the cycle again.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    listen to music, sleep, it wont change the situation but it might make me feel like a coward. then the urge will be worse.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    tomorrow i'll feel guilty and urgy if i hurt myself, if i go to sleep i'll feel urgy but not guilty.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to escape from reality, i dont know the answer to this question..

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

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