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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  It won't really change, but I'll be distracted from everything and I'll be focused
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  It will calm me down....but it won't solve anything.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  I want to relax, to be able to deal with everything that's stressing me out...hurting myself won't help in the long run, but it's what I want.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  It'll last long enough for me to fall asleep.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  I could chew gum to distract myself, spend some time on the boards...I don't know what I'll do after that.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  I'll be upset, like I let myself down...if I don't, I'll be proud
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I don't know what I want...I just want to be calm...


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  I don't know exactly...I've been really stressing about school the past couple days, but I finished all of my assignments and turned them in today...I'm supposed to not be stressed anymore, but I'm freaking out nonetheless!
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  Yeah, two nights ago, but I threw myself into my work and eventually exhaustion took over and I slept.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  I've been chewing gum, but it's only going to distract me so long. I could do something constructive.
• How do I feel right now?
  Worried...upset...
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  Focused...
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  In control...upset, the same...
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  I could try to balance my commitments I guess.
• Do I need to hurt myself?

I know it should be no, but it seems