Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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NewDawn13
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 6:42 am
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Before

Post by NewDawn13 » Thu Sep 27, 2007 1:58 am

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    It won't really change, but I'll be distracted from everything and I'll be focused
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    It will calm me down....but it won't solve anything.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    I want to relax, to be able to deal with everything that's stressing me out...hurting myself won't help in the long run, but it's what I want.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    It'll last long enough for me to fall asleep.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    I could chew gum to distract myself, spend some time on the boards...I don't know what I'll do after that.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    I'll be upset, like I let myself down...if I don't, I'll be proud
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I don't know what I want...I just want to be calm...


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
    I don't know exactly...I've been really stressing about school the past couple days, but I finished all of my assignments and turned them in today...I'm supposed to not be stressed anymore, but I'm freaking out nonetheless!
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
    Yeah, two nights ago, but I threw myself into my work and eventually exhaustion took over and I slept.
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
    I've been chewing gum, but it's only going to distract me so long. I could do something constructive.
  • How do I feel right now?
    Worried...upset...
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    Focused...
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
    In control...upset, the same...
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    I could try to balance my commitments I guess.
  • Do I need to hurt myself?

I know it should be no, but it seems
*Dawn*
~*my little corner of the world*~

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