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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:



how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The sence of relief. The tension won't be there


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Nothing to both.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel free from this issue, but SI will only give me temp relief


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Its hard to tell....could last hours or days.....after taht I am not sure


what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could write, but I can't quite do that now.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If i hurt myself, i will feel shame, if i write i will feel scared that someone will find it

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I dont know what I want....

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I am flustered and feel I have no where to turn


Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I have been here a lot and I seem to SI when I am here.


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Some questions have helped but the urge is still there.


How do I feel right now?
Lost, confused, tense, scared, flustered


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I will feel relief, but not sure for how long.


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

I will feel ashamed......

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I am not sure


Do I need to hurt myself?
I dont need to, but I really want to

could you write & then destroy that writing later?

I want to feel free from this issue
--what issue do you mean?

how else could you deal with the tension you're feeling? what's causing the tension? are there things you could do to deal with the cause?

how can you deal with fear? have you checked the coping board for ideas? found ways of comforting yourself & helping yourself feel safe?

Lost, confused, tense, scared, flustered
--emotions aren't permanent. they come & go. those feelings Will lessen w/o hurting yourself. just hurts like hell to actually feel sometimes.... &, for me anyhow, emotions are scary things in & of themselves.... self-harm doesn't help in terms of learning ways of actually Feeling & dealing with emotions. it makes it all the harder really.

plantt wrote:could you write & then destroy that writing later?

I want to feel free from this issue
--what issue do you mean?

how else could you deal with the tension you're feeling? what's causing the tension? are there things you could do to deal with the cause?

how can you deal with fear? have you checked the coping board for ideas? found ways of comforting yourself & helping yourself feel safe?

Lost, confused, tense, scared, flustered
--emotions aren't permanent. they come & go. those feelings Will lessen w/o hurting yourself. just hurts like hell to actually feel sometimes.... &, for me anyhow, emotions are scary things in & of themselves.... self-harm doesn't help in terms of learning ways of actually Feeling & dealing with emotions. it makes it all the harder really.

I have a hard time with writing. It got in the wrong hands and everyone freaked out. Since then it seems like I have a hard time writing anything.

I have many issues. I have a past of SA, SU, OD, SI, lots of things......I want to be free from it all.

The tension is caused from being pulled into SI an not to SI, Flas backs start and it gets harder and harder.

I dont deal with fear very well. I tend to crawl in my hole and not come out until it is safe. I am trying to learn new ways of coping.

My emotions get sooooo fixed that it seems like they never will go away. They are sometimes so intense that I dont know what to do.