after.

[half/hearted]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes, they're not open, just surface damage, so I just washed them gently

what had happened just before?
my stupid brother said "you just hate everyone, don't you?" and we were at a movie and there was nowhere i could go

what were you thinking and feeling?
"he's right, i do hate everyone, because everyone is a bunch of [expletives]. i can't believe i'm stuck here with these idiots." and i went to sit by myself.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
what my brother said. he's right and i shouldn't care but I do. I hate EVERYBODY.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
if i had maybe discussed it with him...but he was in such a bad mood i didn't want to risk angering him.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
well i can't sleep because i keep having these nightmares. also I was stuck in a theater and I always do worse when I feel stuck.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i tried to cry but you know I can't cry anymore. I removed myself from the person who was hurting my feelings but i still felt bad because he was right.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
nope, not really. maybe learning to stand up for myself...at least in my head.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
look, i will try to think about it. I don't like SIing, I hate it, but it's my only escape. do you want me to start drugs? do you?

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
pff. my brother is a [expletive] and there's no way to resolve HIM! as for me hating everyone...i don't know how to change that. they're evil.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
i guess i shouldn't go to movies...or i shouldn't talk when i'm there

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
i'm not gonna sit next to my brother anymore!
and i'm gonna get popcorn and sit by myself and be acceptably happy because the [expletive] is not near me and he can't hurt me
...*sigh* and Iwillthinkveryseriouslyaboutalteringmythinkingpatternsabouthatingeveryonesomuchallthetime. there, I said it.

[ChaseThisLight]

Well first off...I'm sorry things are rough with you and your brother. Not to excuse what he said, but often times people say things bluntly without thinking about the implications of others. I am guilty of this now and again. Do you truly believe that you hate absolutely everyone? I find that kind of hard to believe. Are you seeing a T or do you have someone you trust that you can talk to?