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Before

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:19 am
by Beasty
How will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It will relieve some of the anxiety I'm feeling right now.

What will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I'm not sure what it would bring to the situation, but it might take away the edge and the emotional investment.

How do i want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want the best to come out of it, but I am waiting for his answer. I want him to take me out but he hasn't answered yet. Hurting myself wouldn't change the situation but I might feel guilty if I did SI.

If hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? What will I do then?
In this particular case, probably about an hour or two. Then hopefully I'll be tired enough to go to sleep, but likely I'll be awake still and back where I was.

What is something I could do now instead of hurting myself? How will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could do some breathing excersizes, try to ignore the anxiety. That might ease it in the same way as SI. I have no idea how long it would last. Again, there isn't much I can do, just wait for his answer.

How will I feel tomorrow if I hurt myself? How will I feel tomorrow if I do the other thing I came up with?
If I hurt myself, I would feel awful tomorrow. I'd regret it. If I just tried to calm myself down once more then I wouldn't think of it in the morning.

What do I really want to do right now? How can I best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to call him and sort it all out but I know it would be intrusive. I guess the instict is the drive to reduce stress. To honor that instict....


I don't feel like SI would be productive anymore. w00t!

Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 2:46 am
by LBC
Hi SilverCandlesticks

Isn't it frustrating when it feels like our emotional well-being hinges on the action(s) of another person? I know that when I'm waiting for an important phone call, or someone's input to resolve a situation, it can be *very* hard to wait.

It sounds to me like you've definitely figured out what this urge is about - and it's fantastic that in doing that, you no longer feel the urge to self-injure anymore! :)

Since it's clear to you that self-injury isn't the appropriate stress-reducer here, and that calling him isn't an option for you at this point...what is a stress reducer that you can use until you do hear from him? Any ideas?

:1paw:

Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:01 am
by Beasty
After that, I just tried to ignore it, took some deep breaths and started trying to occupy myself best as I could.