after [beat an urge]

[Spidey]

<b> * Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?</b>

head-spinny feeling. there's not a real way to describe it outside of that...it's like someone turned up the volume in my head so i could see and hear everything about ten thousand times clearer/louder, blindfolded me, made me spin around about six hundred times and then took off the blindfold and made me walk around

memory trigger. conversation i had with someone hit a memory.

<b>If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?</b>

yeah - anxiety, fear, adrenaline ("fight or flight") rush = knew that from head-spinny feeling

the memory trigger produced one heck of a feeling of dread, of "oh NO" and feeling like i was in two places at once - in the memory replaying itself in my head and in the present. got bogged down. felt heavy.

figured them out by doing a quick inventory. that and i recognized the overall "fear / panic" reaction.

<b>What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?</b>

took a quick inventory and realized that the "heavy" feeling was not just bog of emotions but also extreme tiredness. so i carted myself off to bed and listened to some TMN on my ipod and fell asleep.

<b>Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?</b>

yeah, i was tired so it was going with the whole HALT thing (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) and i knew i was tired so i went to bed.

<b>If No - What coping skills got me through?</b>

--

<b>Why do I think they worked?</b>

i was tired enough that i knew i had to go to bed. i usually listen to music to block out things or to calm my mind down enough to work and so i did that and it worked. that and i knew what had to be done.

<b>How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?</b>

usually the best thing to do is confront them head on. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

[LBC]

Hi Pink Spider

It sounds like you handled this urge really well. It must have been difficult to pull yourself out of the panicked feeling enough to get into a mindset where you could do HALT (excellent tool, by the way - I'd heard of it and forgotten about it, and I'll be sure to use it in the future) and figure out what you needed.

And then you *did* what you needed - kudos! Not always an easy thing to do.

Pat yourself on the back for doing so well...thanks for telling us about it!