bus

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

The panic I am feeling seems like that shadow. I believe the panic is stemming from the afternoon I spent with my mother and her husband. Times with them are always difficult, but I was trying to be the dutiful daughter.

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  I will feel calmer and less panicky, but my family will still set me on edge if I hurt myself or not.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  It will bring calm and take away my panic.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  In the long run I would like to get through my panic episodes without the need of SI. Hurting myself will not get me to this.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  Relief is brief. It will last while I am cutting and only until my guilt sets in.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  I could do more distracting. I have been making jewelry to distract lately. I could watch the TV that is on. I could pray. These things could bring about change only through distraction. The change will not last long, and then I will have to find more diversions.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  Tomorrow I'll feel guilty if I hurt myself. If I distract and distract and distract I will have more earrings and necklaces to sell at the next craft fair.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I really want some comfort to get through the panicked feelings. As an alternative to this as I am alone right now, I will wrap up in my soft blanket and try to sleep.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  
  I feel panicky, most likely from spending the afternoon with my mother and her husband
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  
  No, I don't think I"ve been precisely here in this situation before.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  
  I took some pills which I shouldn't have done. I don't know why I did. It's not something I usually do. I can go back to making jewelry. I can go to sleep
• How do I feel right now?
  
  Panicky
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  
  Calmer, more settled and focused
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  
  Guilty, guilty, guilty
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  
  I need to find a way to deal with situations in which I panic afterwards. If the panic is inevetable, then I need a way to get by without SI.
• Do I need to hurt myself?
  
  Need to, no. Want to, yes.

Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

Love,
Stevie

replied to ur after post


<3 sare