bus

After:

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

• have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
  Yes.
• what had happened just before?
  
  I was alone and the thoughts of SI were too much and i needed to act them out.
• what were you thinking and feeling?
  
  i wasn't feeling anything except anxiety because of the intrusive thoughts. I felt compelled to act it out.
• why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
  
  I had reached my breaking point. i had the opportunity and i couldn't handle the thoughts anymore.
• how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
  
  I have no tools to cope with these thoughts.
• were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
  
  i missed two days of meds which may have made the thoughts worse. no other factors.
• what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
  
  i tried many different types of distractions, but distractions dont work.
• in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
  no
• name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
  
  i don't have any
• how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
  
  i need to see a pdoc and i am going next week.
  
  
• are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
  
  yes...i will get there again. its not emotional.
  
  
• what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

i will try my hardest to resist. i will do all of my distractions and hope that it will work for a while.

About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

• What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
  
  i was home alone.
• Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
  it was just there.
• What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
  
  unfortunately,i would have made an opportunity.
• If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
  
  increased.
• What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
  
  being alone.
• If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

i would feel more anxious, but i would have made an opportunity.


thats enough for now....the point is i guess that i just need to see my Pdoc and finish the evaluation.

thanks for the reply. i appreciate the constructive criticism.

I am not sure why i need to SI when these thoughts come in. The thoughts are about SI and i can see it on my body. something in me needs to make it real. i don't really know why. i will obsess over it until i act it out.

the only coping mechanism for me when i get intrusive thoughts is to just

A) not act on them and then obsess about it for weeks.

B) act it out and relieve the obsession.

i have coping tools to deal with my emotions that make me want to SI...like....if i am angry or sad or hurt or lonely. i can do a whole bunch of stuff like....talk to someone, paint, sleep, go out and be in public, listen to music, cry, punch a pillow....etc. the impulse to SI with intrusive thoughts is different then my need to SI when i am feeling emotional.

i didn't purposely forget to take my meds. i ran out and didn't have the money to refill the precription. i refilled it when i got paid and have since started taking it again. it was 2 days that i missed.

i tend to listen to music all the time to escape my thoughts and feelings. i guess i never tried to specifically listen to really loud music to help with the thoughts.