bus

After:

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

• have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
  I did, it was actually last night but want to process it a bit (tried before too but... yeah)
• what had happened just before?
  I told someone-everything, everything crappy that has been going on this semester, everything that has been eating at me- I'd never done this before, and told some things I hadn't told anyone... almost said other stuff too
• what were you thinking and feeling?
  It just all sorta came out, I was thinking that I was just talking about why I wasn't doing so great this semester- and it snowballed and I couldn't stop
  I was feeling ok actually at the time, she validated some of the stuff I was thinking.
  Then I felt anxious, that I shouldn't have said anything, nervous about just talking in general, scared that I was talking and actually saying out loud a lot of the stuff, a bit relieved at the same time
• why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
  I was panicking more than anything I think, I think the final straw was just being so overwhelmed with everything.
  I can't actually think of an answer that I think is really true or seems like the real reason...
• how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
  again... trying to think of what the final straw really was, maybe just having the opportunity although I've had the opportunity many times before and not acted even when I've been really urgy
• were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
  lack of sleep definitely, and taking sleeping pills- exercise in my room to try to go to sleep it could also fight off the urge a bit too
• what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
  I wrote- I tried to write out why I was feeling overwhelmed and why I was scared of having someone know all the stuff I said, etc. In a way it worked but the overwhelmed feeling was still there
• in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
  exercise I think could have, some deep breathing or something that may help with relaxation (I will check out the coping list) oh maybe something like suduko that I can get lost in
• name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
  no clue, put a puzzle book with my tools (which I had and have again wrapped up in tape and tucked away so it takes a while to actually get to, I think I found a better place for em too, even more tucked away)
• how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
  I'm feeling a bit better about it, I need to keep reminding myself it was a good move, I'm not taking advantage or dumping everything on her- she wanted to know and help
  
• are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
  I think I may be- probably another reason the feeling is lingering some. how to recognize it...
  
• what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

1)exercise
2)write (it did help some, and at least help me work through a little)
3)play a game of some sort like sudoko or video games
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

• What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
• Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
• What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
• If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
• What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
• If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

Hi Kendra

It sounds like answering the questions may have helped? I hope so.

Telling someone (anyone) so many intensely personal things is bound to bring up strong feelings. I hope that it helped, in that it helped you to get some things off your chest. But I'm not surprised it was overwhelming as well. Sharing was a good thing, and I hope that you can do it again, but as you're learning to do it - accept that there may be some slips, because this is probably the way you have coped with overwhelming feelings before.

Keep answering the questions when slips happen, because I think that you learn from them. You learned this time that you're more likely to SI when there's opportunity, and you then took the steps to make your tools less accessible. That's awesome!

Take gentle care.

thanks, the questions really do help- as I do feel a lot better today and I think part is that I'm not stewing about the slip.
It did help talking to the person and I think maybe I can think of other things like planning a hike if I think she may ask about personal stuff and it may happen again- that may let me release some of those overwhelmed feelings too