Before-im trying so hard

[dncn4lyfe77]

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  Ill still feel like crap. I'm depressed at the moment. Fucking imbalance in my brain. Bipolar shit. Maybe it will help. Idk.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  I might feel better. For a lil bit. I don't know. It will take away the month Im almost at without SI (again)
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  I just want to feel happy again. I'm going on day 8 of being uber depressed from the bipolar...im ready to swing up.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  I dont know and I dont know
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  Sleep. I think immma do that.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  Like shit.
  
  and maybe rested if I sleep?
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I just wanna be held i think. Comforted maybe. Cuddling sounds good. But noone to cuddle with. Phooey.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

[LBC]

Hi dncn4lyfe77

I'm glad that you filled out the questions...did it help?

I can identify with not wanting to SI because you've got a stretch that you've gone without it that you don't want to lose. But, even if you do slip, you still can't take away the fact that you *did* go without for a while. Take that as encouragement, because it means you can do it again! A slip is not the end of the world.

You mentioned that you're bipolar and that you're cycling right now...I'm sure that's making things especially difficult to manage. What kind of treatment are you receiving for that?

Take gentle care.

[dncn4lyfe77]

my pdoc is trying to figure out my meds. He's been tryin to take me off of the ad that im on but i keep getting all wacked out.

I didnt end up SIing which is good. And the questions deffly helped me out.


thanks for the response<3

sare