slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
i have.
what had happened just before?
i went to the bathroom. i typed up and edited a poem i had written a long time ago. must have triggered me.
what were you thinking and feeling?
i wasn't thinking much. i felt lonely. alone. overwhelmed.
why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
i guess the story/poem i had typed up was the final straw. it wasn't such a good idea to use it for my short story in english class.
how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
i went to work. i talked to my collegue, which was stressful for me. i called two new therapists. also very stressful. i went home, talked to my gf, was tired. had all the things i had to do in the back of my mind. wanted to go to school. etc etc. there was so much to do.
were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
no. maybe lack of sleep. stress.
what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i didn't try anything! that's just it. i just didn't think at all.
in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
i should have called someone. i should have taken a relaxing bath instead of stressing myself. i should have cuddled a teddy bear and held my kitten and breathed deeply.
name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
uh. that'S a hard one. i will call someone first. so that that someone can remind me of this.
i will look at my scars next time, to remember this.
how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
oh my god no. not at all. that's the worst part probably. there's still so much to do. maybe more than before. what can i do? take it one step at a time. i don'T have to call anyone anymore now. i can go to t tomorrow. and see how she is. and if she isn'T nice i won'T ever have to see her again. it's all okay.
are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
yes. how will i recognize it? uhm good question as i didn't see this coming today at all.
a good sign might be... my tension level rising. i dunno. ir eally don't knwo... i'm stuck with this question. will think more about it.what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
i will call someone
i will take a hot bath
i will cuddle a teddy bear or my kitten or dog.
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
i was at home. i was in the bathroom. my bandages were underneath the sink. i was alone. it was "perfect".
Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
it was there.
What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
i might not even have noticed the urge was there. if i wouldn#t have been alone for example, i would have just gone to walk the dogs, gone to school, come home... and then i duno what.
If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
it would have increased. it's been increasing for weeks and weeks, which is probably why i gave in today.
What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
being alone. is defenitely a big one. very important. being at home is also important, because i don'T wanan have to deal with the mess anywhere else.
If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
i would feel very anxious. very stressed. panicked.
i dunno. maybe i wouldn'T even notice after a while. maybe i'd deal with it better. i really don'T know.After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
i talked to my friends/gf. i went online and wrote about it. i took a bath. i can'T remember all that i did. it was hard work.
Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
not before it happened. afterwards. yes.
If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
stress, a feeling of being overwhelmed. tiredness. stress. etc.
i figured it out afterwards because i had to think about it because my gf asked me.
What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
none. i cut. that'S not a coping skill.
Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
uhm. obviously, no.
How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?
i can breathe. make a list maybe. sit down and draw or write it out. remember that i can get through this. etc etc.
yeah.
