Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
I'm not going to but the urge is there...
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
it wouldn't change, just replace one bad feeling with another
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it would just make things worse, it would take away the month I have gone without si, it would make me feel even more out of control and more different than everyone
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to be independent... I need to be able to depend on others and admit my feelings and outside factors that are not under my control are valid, that it doesn't mean I am not trying my best but that my best at that point in time is different since my feelings and life events have changed how well I can work
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
its not the best option, it will bring relief from the immediate stress it will calm me in the moment, it will not address me needing to accept the help of others.
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I can keep writing, at the moment it seems to help the most, I have tried breathing deeply but the thoughts keep coming back. I am going to talk to the prof too
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel horrible if I hurt myself, I don't know about the journal/ writing-I'm hoping it helps and I feel better in the morning
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I got a better grade on a paper than I deserve- I don't deserve an A because my writing was not very good, my paper was not to my best standards- I got the full credit because the prof could tell I was having a tough semester and the paper had to do with personal stuff which is difficult in the first place- she felt considering the circumstances I deserved a good grade- I don't want to accept this
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
sort of, earlier I did need to ask for extensions on a few papers- I cried, I still didn't want to admit I couldn't do the work on time- I cut last time
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Writing, it's making me want to cry but I think it's a good thing, I took a nice shower and just sat there for a bit, I tried to breath deeply and relax- I'm gonna to try something else to if this doesn't work
- How do I feel right now?
depressed, hurt, like a fraud (although I'm trying to tell myself I am not, situations and stress does not make me a fraud- they are a reality and valid- keep saying it but not believing it),
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
zoned out, I won't be thinking about much of anything
- How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Upset, more depressed,
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I need to address it better in the future- maybe just practice in dealing with accepting help from others and that there are different excuses, they are not always bad.
- Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.[/i]
