bus

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll feel better for a short period of time, and then i'll feel terrible. but im feeling so bad right now that I honestly don't give a damn.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will bring guilt, releif and sleep, it will take away tension, hate, worthlessness and pain.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel proud of myself, to get through this, make him proud of me and keep him wanting to be with me.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
i've no idea

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i have nothing to do

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
..

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want to call kris, i dont want to be alone, I just need to be loved

Can you call Kris, or is that not a possibility?

If you can't, could you maybe write a letter instead?
Is there anyone else you can contact so that you won't be alone?

Can you think of other ways to work out your tension?
Could you, for example, do something physically active, or just beat up some pillows for a while?


Wanting to be proud of yourself is a good reason for wanting to get through these feelings without hurting yourself. Can you feel any pride in yourself NOW, for the effort that you are making today, instead of only thinking of the pride that you might feel in the future if you make it through?
I think that making the effort right now really is something to be proud of.

prox.
[etc.]

thanks prox, i fell asleep in the end

Sleep is a good thing

Do you have a plan for what you will do if you get to feeling the same way again?
(I realize you might just want to drop it, but in the spirit of this forum ... )

Did something change that allowed you to fall asleep, or did it just happen with time?

prox.
[going on]

I never stopped feeling that way, I fell asleep waiting for a reply on here, but i know that people do have to sleep so obviously im not blaming anyone for not being there. and i got plenty of replys on main after i woke up.