bus

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

• have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
  yes
  
  
• what had happened just before?
  I had gotten lunch for me and my ex (my parents wanted him to come with to my grandmas), he started calling me names for no reason and hit me, tried to do something else but I got away
  
  
• what were you thinking and feeling?
  Why didn't I just say he wasn't coming, why did I even go inside, I felt stupid and hurt
  
  
• why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
  I was too overwhelmed, I'd been able to hold off before, this time I just went in an did it and didn't really think about it.
  
  
• how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
  I think that all thats left of this situation is final straws, I should just block his number and say I don't care that he hasn't been over and I don't care what he has been going through because his actions are wrong no matter what.
  
  
• were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
  no
  
  
• what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
  I didn't, which was scary, useually I am able to think at least some and say do I really want to do this. this time I didn't I just acted and didn't think (I went 2 weeks without though, and I really would have wanted to not fall)
  
  
• in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
  I could have driven to the marina and hiked around a bit, or even just drive around a bit, I think just not going home but staying out would be good.
  
  
• name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
  umm, I'm not sure
  
  
• how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
  I am not talking to him again, tonight when my mom invites him to dinner I am going to say he isn't coming, when she comes back with oh thats mean I will say I don't care (or say he's already eaten or in a bad mood more likely)
  
  
• are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
  I hope not but I don't know anymore. If I ever do end up going inside his house again (I hope I don't) I will be sure someone else is home
  
  
• what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

um, hike around the marina (ooh maybe if I keep a camera in the car I will remember to do this), drive around, keep a journal in the car

About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

• What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
  I'm not sure, maybe I had a lot going on, I thought things were getting better and I was hit by this.
  
  
• Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
  It was sorta there, I just ran inside and did it, my mom was home and asked if we were leaving soon, I said in a min, ran upstairs and did it
  
  
• What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
  let it build, just been angry
  
  
• If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
  probably increase, I still haven't resolved anything
  
  
• What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
  I'm not sure, just having the opportunity to be alone somewhere and with my tools
  
  
• If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

I'm not sure, upset, frustrated...

It sounds like you should talk with your parents about the fact that he is your EX and you aren't comfortable spending time with him. They shouldn't force you to be in an uncomfortable (and in this case, dangerous) situation.