bus

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I dont know why...or what...I just really crave doing it...Prolly the lack of doing it for the past 2 weeks after doing it almost daily has something to do with it. I feel weak...i should be able to just stop
  
  
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? yeah ive been here before, and it took alot, but i made it through
  
  
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  
  Tried to talk to my boyfriend, but hes not in a good mood, keeping busy on here
  
  
• How do I feel right now?
  
  numb, craving sensation
  
  
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  
  a hella lot better
  
  
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  
  ill feel better after but mega guilty and shitty tomorrow
  
  
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  
  Ummm, avoiding prolly not, dealing with it? hmm idk, i honestly dunno
  
  
• Do I need to hurt myself?

feels like it, i feel like im going through withdrawl right now

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  ill feel better for a while
  
  
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  Ill be able to think straight and relax, its gonna take away the 2 weeks ive gone without it
  
  
  
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  i dont know...
  
  
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  it will last a while..after that idk what ill do
  
  
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  I could go to sleep...just take my meds and go to sleep
  
  
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  ill feel like shit
  
  and ill feel ok i guess if i dont
  
  
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I just want to feel something.idk


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

How do I feel right now?

numb, craving sensation

Is there anything else you can do that involves strong sensations? I think there are some ideas along those lines on the VAST list of coping strategies...

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Ummm, avoiding prolly not, dealing with it? hmm idk, i honestly dunno

Can you identify anything other than not-SIing as leading up to feeling this way? Usually people don't want to SI because they want SI, but because there are feelings underneath that aren't being addressed