Before

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how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I would stop feeling so angry.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it would make the feelings go away, it would take away my one year of clean time.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel like what I do matters, I want others close to me in my life to recognize that too. hurting myself would take that all away.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
the relief would last a few hours, and then I would be upset.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
there isn't much I can do, I am stuck at a lan party. maybe if someone would talk to me?

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to have my feelings be recognized, I can't have that, so by self-injuring I would be bringing my feelings to the attention of myself.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Because today is a very day, it is ironically the aniversary of when I stopped self injurying. I wanted to do something special but instead I am stuck at a lan party, with my husband ignoring me.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
No, well, in someways, I've had times where my feelings were not recognized, I self injured.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

How do I feel right now?
Bad, angry, upset, unvindicated.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Better.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Upest with myself for having done it, and given up one year clean.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Nope, this is just life.

Do I need to hurt myself?
No, no one ever does.