before *LA*
Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2007 7:35 am
* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
kev will get even more pissed at me
* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
more anger. it won't take away anything I don't think.
* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to resolve this. Farther away since teh focus of teh fight will be shifted.
* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will only last as long as I'm cutting then the guilt, crying, doubt, anger adn fear will set in.
* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Read, go to bed, I don't know here.
* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
horrible and scared. horrible, but not quit as horrible.
* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
be held and fix thsi stupid fight. I don't know.
* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
B/c I'm upset and stressed and it was my way of coping for so long. Stress and the escaltion of this stupid fight that we keep freaking HAVING.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Too many times to count. Cried. kept fighting. bad, but better than if I would have cut.
* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Vent to Nikki. TYpe really fast. Replay the fight in my head. If no one was home I could scream, but they are. maybe orgasm would be distracting but who knows, I'm just so MAD.
* How do I feel right now?
mad, hurt, frustrated, liek he doesn't even listen, upset I poured this out to poor Nikki.
* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
ashamed, uspet, scared
* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
not good. even not gooder.
* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
not
* Do I need to hurt myself?
no, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to so damn bad
kev will get even more pissed at me
* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
more anger. it won't take away anything I don't think.
* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to resolve this. Farther away since teh focus of teh fight will be shifted.
* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will only last as long as I'm cutting then the guilt, crying, doubt, anger adn fear will set in.
* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Read, go to bed, I don't know here.
* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
horrible and scared. horrible, but not quit as horrible.
* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
be held and fix thsi stupid fight. I don't know.
* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
B/c I'm upset and stressed and it was my way of coping for so long. Stress and the escaltion of this stupid fight that we keep freaking HAVING.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Too many times to count. Cried. kept fighting. bad, but better than if I would have cut.
* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Vent to Nikki. TYpe really fast. Replay the fight in my head. If no one was home I could scream, but they are. maybe orgasm would be distracting but who knows, I'm just so MAD.
* How do I feel right now?
mad, hurt, frustrated, liek he doesn't even listen, upset I poured this out to poor Nikki.
* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
ashamed, uspet, scared
* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
not good. even not gooder.
* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
not
* Do I need to hurt myself?
no, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to so damn bad
