bus

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

Hi. I hope it's okay for me to reply here.

I'm sorry things are tough at the moment. It seems to me like you've been thinking really hard about why you are urgey and whatt to do about that, though, which is a good thing- could you give yourself some credit for that? Also, you say that you had felt triggered to self harm all day but didn't- again, rather than focusing on the fact that you didn't specifically distract for twenty minutes, could you allow yourself to take the credit for not acting on the urge sooner? I find that it's the delay that is important, often, once the urge has already started- it's a question of holding it off for as long as I can, and that time seems to get longer each time. So actually, it seems to me that by not acting sooner you achieved a lot.

With regards to sleep, I don't know if this link is any help to you. If you click on "sleep protocol" which is about third from the bottom then it has a lot of things to do with dealing with sleep problems. Given what you have said I thought perhaps the section on controlling intrusive thoughts might be of some use. I have problems with my brain rehashing the day when I am trying to go to sleep and have found this a useful resource.

If your med change is making things worse, is it possible for you to accept that, and chalk it up to experience a bit? Try not to beat yourself up.

It sounds like there is a lot of stuff going on for you at the moment. Before you go to sleep probably isn't the best time to think about it- could you set aside another time in the day and allot a certain amount of time?

On a seperate note, with regards to your group- I suppose rather than thinking about your therapist says on thematter, you could ask yourself what *you* want? Do you feel it is helpful? Do you think it could be helpful? Are you learning things from it? I go to a group and it quite frankly sucks anything it can get its hands on, but I know that it is helpful really. Why are you going? Is it for support? Is it to learn? Are you getting what you want from it?

I'm sorry for the scatter-gun approach to this reply- I'm in a bit of a spot myself right now (plus le f-ing change) but I hope something I have said is helpful to you, and that things get easier soon with the meds and so on. Take care of yourself.

tatty

Hi Tatty, thanks for your reply.

Hi. I'm glad some of what I said can be of use to you.

The group thing sounds very difficult. I am also in a DBT group and have been for a year or so now- it's a condition of my treatment that I attend, which sucks. I sympathise with it often not working, and with it causing dissociation, which I have struggled with in group situations, too. The only thing I would say is that the group itself could actually be a place to practice the skills? It's a very emotional and challenging environment but assuming it's run well should be an ultimately safe environment- so it might be a place you could practice tolerating distress? I have a really hard time staying in a room with an angry person, and being in a group with a lot of occasionally angry people has given me the chance to practice that in the knowledge that actually there are checks and balances which mean that I *wont* get hurt. And I can always walk out if I have to.

I'm not trying to urge you to stay at all- I'm sure if you don't feel it's riight for you then it isn't. You (obviously) know much more about it than I do. I'm just trying to add a different perspective which comes from my own experience. Totally feel free to ignore me.

Take care.

tatty