bus

How will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I'll feel a sense of relief... it might distract me from what's going on.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It'll bring relief. It will help me calm down.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to be able to deal with stuff without freaking out about it. Whatever it may be. I don't think hurting myself will get me closer to that, but I don't think it will get me further from it either.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It varies. at least for a little bit. Once it doesn't bring relief? I don't know. maybe I'll just want to do it again.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
watch tv, sleep, clean, read... I don't think anything will change, just the way that I'm dealing with the situation (or ignoring it). If I go to sleep, it'll last until morning.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I might be pissed at myself. Ok, I know i'll be pissed. or I could be stuck in the "I don't care" mode... who knows. If I go to sleep now? I could be fine in the morning, or i could feel the same.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to cut myself.

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Everything. Being overwhelmed, not knowing how to deal with shit. stupid people. insults. not being good enough for anyone. anytime. ever.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? i've talked to people about how i'm feeling. don't feel like i can do that tonight. i've cried. i've cut. i don't know

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
drove around for awhile listening to music, came online...
i don't know... sleep i guess


How do I feel right now?
sad, angry, mad, pathetic, useless, not good enough

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
calm, in control


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
guilty, scared of someone noticing, mad at myself

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
not sure

Do I need to hurt myself?
i don't know.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to be able to deal with stuff without freaking out about it. Whatever it may be. I don't think hurting myself will get me closer to that, but I don't think it will get me further from it either.

If SI will just leave you in the same place where you are right now, why do it, when considering the consequences that come with SI? What is this stuff that you are freaking out over? Is there a way that you can address this stuff? Maybe talking to a friend, or posting about it on the boards. While sometimes it's hard for us to confront what is actually making us upset, making that leap often makes us feel better in the long run. What are some small steps you could take towards that goal?

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
watch tv, sleep, clean, read... I don't think anything will change, just the way that I'm dealing with the situation (or ignoring it). If I go to sleep, it'll last until morning.

Though you say that with SI as well things would not change.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I might be pissed at myself. Ok, I know i'll be pissed. or I could be stuck in the "I don't care" mode... who knows. If I go to sleep now? I could be fine in the morning, or i could feel the same.

It sounds like you've worked out that sleep may be a good solution for you, and one that might have a longer lasting effect on how you feel.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to cut myself.

There are two questions here, is the answer the same for both?

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Everything. Being overwhelmed, not knowing how to deal with shit. stupid people. insults. not being good enough for anyone. anytime. ever.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and I hope and suspect it isn't true, how can you reach past the negative feelings and see the people who care about you, including people on this board? Sometimes it helps to write down the positives when we can think of them and read them when we are feeling down, or when something negative has happened. Or to have a place to go, like here, that can remind us that we are all worthwhile people. You are a worthwhile person, and you've made a big step making this post.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? i've talked to people about how i'm feeling. don't feel like i can do that tonight. i've cried. i've cut. i don't know

What is keeping you from feeling like you can talk to people about how you feel? What about people on BUS?

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
drove around for awhile listening to music, came online...
i don't know... sleep i guess

This is a good start.[/i]