Before
Posted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 1:16 pm
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i'll feel like i've done something about the way i feel.
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what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it'll bring a sense of relief, but also pain and guilt. it'll take away the fact that i haven't si'd in 7 months.
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i'm not sure. i want to feel better, i want to feel calmer. wanting to si is like having this extra weight on my shoulders, if i si then it will go away. if i do si then maybe i would achive this
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probably not the best option, the relief will last till i stop SI'ing, then i will have other feelings. i'll probably feel worse and want to lock myself away
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i could try and dostract myself, by maybe tidying my room? It would give me something else to do and take my mind of SI. It would last as long as it takes for me to tidy up, or maybe a bit longer? Find something else to do
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how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I'll feel guilty, and like shit for giving in to my urges. I might feel better but i still think i will feel stressed tomorrow
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i honestly don't know what i want. i just don't want to be here, i don't want to think or feel this.
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come on BUS, posted a thread on another forum asking for advice. there's not a lot else i can do, aside from keep me away from my room
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upset, depressed, low, crap, pathetic, guilty, annoyed, angry
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calm, but also upset and guilty
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very guilty, and more stressed. maybe i will feel a bit calmer, like i'm in control or something?
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possibly. i just need to make sure it doesn't get this far in future
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No, but i still want to
![:( :(](./images/smilies/icon_frown.gif)
no idea if that's helped, it has a bit.
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