bus

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I feel a need for control over things and to punish myself. The triggering event has been finding out that one of the courses I want to take this year doesn't take people after the enrolment date...I missed this date because of being unable to get back up to uni until tomorrow.


Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
No haven't been here before.


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I have emailed the course conveynor back explaining things a bit better. I intend to talk to my advisor on Friday outlining my issues. I can try to stay distracted and possibly release my feelings through talking to someone who cares or crying.


How do I feel right now?
Upset. Panicked. Worried. Like a failure.


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
In control. Like I'm treating myself how I deserve to be treated.


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Guilty. Like I've let myself down. Ashamed. Ugly.


Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Can't avoid it can only deal with it now.


Do I need to hurt myself?
No but I want to.

Hi Kim.

I really hope the course works out. I'm sorry things were (are?) so stressful. How are you doing now?

sorry its taken me such a while to get back to this b.

I'm doing better now thank you.