bus

# have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.

Yes.

# what had happened just before?

hanging out with sister and friend

# what were you thinking and feeling?

ignored, pissed off, urgy, sad,

# why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?

my thoughts kept pounding it into my mind to do it, that it was my only way out to feel better, and that i was going crazy and i might as well do it

# how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.

i was sitting down, they were talking ,i didnt feel like talking, i was dissociating and getting more deppressed, grabed my smokes and said i was gonna leave before i go insane. i could of done something at her house, distracting my mind. cause i knew if i left i would si i think.

# were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?

nope no drugs for the last week, no booze. maybe i can go back to the pdoc and get some anti-dep. pills. i remmber paxil used to work good, before my health insurance ran out.

# what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?

worked on my boat a lil bit, listened to music, didn't work, couldnt block out the bad thoughts.

# in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

being around people, cause if im around someone i wont si in front of them, so therefore i wont si. and maybe have enough time to get through my crisis.

# name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

write em down. remmber em? i dunno

# how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?

i dunno. not really a situation, my mind is just messed up.

# are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

oh you betch ya. try to look at my triggers that might trip me, and try to avoid them.

# what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

watchin a funny movie
writing a letter, to just get my emotions out
play my elec. guitar

You said you didn't feel like talking when hanging out with your sister and your friend. You also said that you felt ignored. How do you think they ignored you? Was there anything you could have done to ask them to pay attention to you?

Why were you pissed off and sad? Can you pay attention to those feelings and work something out to do to lessen them?

well i was talking with them , and then they started talking to each other, and every time i tried to say something i got no response. i felt ignored, and i can only try so many times before i give up. i didnt really want there attention , when its said like that, just to be part of the conversation would of been nice. and when i described my emotions, it wasnt all at once, i am bi-polar type 2, among other mental conditions. so my moods change so rapidly its annoying. for example yesterday, i went from normal, to manic mode (jumping around ,acting psychotic) then it wore off and went sinking into my depressed ,si mode. i hope i explained it better, i also wanted to add that i do know i have to work on handling my emotions better because sometimes it like its a black-white world. either im happy or sad, either its ok or its world ending devistation. i need to go back to my pdoc to get my paxil .havent had any in a long time and it used to work really good to help control my moods. thank you for responding to my post too by the way. thnx