After--Just need something else to do.(rantish)
Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:39 am
Have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
--Yes.
What had happened just before?
--For the second time today someone told me that I have almost no friends and then proceeded to give me the same bullshit line about, Oh, but the one friend that you do have really likes you!
What were you thinking and feeling?
--I was thinking about how stupid I am and how I have no reason to be living. Wanting to destroy myself. Feeling very SU.
Why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
--I needed instant relief, I couldn't take the pain emotionally anymore so I made it go away physically.
How did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
--24/7 I can't stop thinking about how no one really likes me, how much I hate the way I look, and hate myself for the scars. I can't do it anymore...the only thing that makes me feel better is cutting. I don't know if there's anyting I could have done differently, my mind feels so foggy.
Were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
--I had a tiny amount of wine earlier tonight, I don't think it really had much of an effect though. I have nothing to blame but myself.
What other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
--I didn't, nothing else ever seems to work. I have to punish myself.
In retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
--Not really...wow, I am a f*ck up.
Name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
--
How do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
--I feel like it's never going to be fixed. I don't think it's ever going to be resolved. I only feel like I'm going to keep going like this until I destroy myself. Nothing feels like it will ever get better.
Are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes, perhaps I'll try to do something else for awhile and let the feeling pass, though, it usually doesn't.
What will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Listen to music
Clean my room
Watch t.v.
--Yes.
What had happened just before?
--For the second time today someone told me that I have almost no friends and then proceeded to give me the same bullshit line about, Oh, but the one friend that you do have really likes you!
What were you thinking and feeling?
--I was thinking about how stupid I am and how I have no reason to be living. Wanting to destroy myself. Feeling very SU.
Why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
--I needed instant relief, I couldn't take the pain emotionally anymore so I made it go away physically.
How did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
--24/7 I can't stop thinking about how no one really likes me, how much I hate the way I look, and hate myself for the scars. I can't do it anymore...the only thing that makes me feel better is cutting. I don't know if there's anyting I could have done differently, my mind feels so foggy.
Were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
--I had a tiny amount of wine earlier tonight, I don't think it really had much of an effect though. I have nothing to blame but myself.
What other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
--I didn't, nothing else ever seems to work. I have to punish myself.
In retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
--Not really...wow, I am a f*ck up.
Name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
--
How do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
--I feel like it's never going to be fixed. I don't think it's ever going to be resolved. I only feel like I'm going to keep going like this until I destroy myself. Nothing feels like it will ever get better.
Are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes, perhaps I'll try to do something else for awhile and let the feeling pass, though, it usually doesn't.
What will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
Listen to music
Clean my room
Watch t.v.