Before.

[ultimate starshine]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

i will feel like i am getting what i deserve. the only relief i can get.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

it will bring relief to the situation
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

i want to feel that i am worth something. that not everything is going to turn to shit around me. That people like me. That im not hated. I dont really have a clue. my head is screwed up right now.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

I dont know what i will do then, but until "then" happens it will suffice.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

i can sleep, but that generally makes it all a whole bit worse.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

probably feel as shit as i feel now anyway, so nothing lost, nothing gained.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

i dont know. i simply dont know anymore

[Chaocontrol6]

Hello Starry, a massive hug for you taking the time to do these questions Hope you don't mind me giving you a little something to think about that may help you through this process of what looks like mental torture, and finding no way out.

Challenging bit

It seems as though you are going through quite a cycle of negativity at the moment with what is going on around you, but as you rightly mentioned in one of the questions:

probably feel as shit as i feel now anyway, so nothing lost, nothing gained.

So I'd like to ask you (and please do not feel the need to answer this or even look at it), would self harming now mean you are going to keep in the loop of negativity, or if you were to go through the mental anguish, and allow yourself to feel that and understand your thoughts, could that give you a chance to move away from the cycle to a better place?

Challenge area over

However do not feel beat down, because you've done yourself proud to put your thoughts onto this post

I hope things go well tonight

Jason

[ultimate starshine]

Sorry i dont entirely understand the question.. im a bit dim lol.

do you mean if i self harm would i allow myself the chance to move onto a better place and out of the cycle? sorry hun, just want to know im answering the question right. lol xx