before

[loveLights]

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I don't know. he won't listen to me. i'll be more distant from all my real friends

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
distraction. temporary relief from feeling so bad. maybe i could get some attention. my self-respect.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run?
i want to feel empowered and in control. i want to feel peace.
is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
at first i might feel what i want. then i will be crazier

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
not long enough )=
then i will probably hurt myself some more and more and more and still my husbands pills, and might be violent.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? sleep
how will it change the situation i'm in?i will be more rested. maybe be able to think clearer
how long will that change last, and what will i do then?until i wake up, then i will have to go to work

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
depressed. less depressed.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?Scream and run away. work on getting out of my situation

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
lying to my husband. not being able to aford to leave him yet. he keeps touching me. wanting hugs and kisses. i feel gross

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes, i cut myself. i felt all mixed up and hopeless

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
cried to my friends. I could watch a movie

How do I feel right now? too real

How will I feel when I am hurting myself? excited.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? depressed and ashamed. afraid. stuck. hopeless

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?i will leave him

Do I need to hurt myself? no