how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?It won't.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?Nothing. Just something for me to feel bad about later. It won't help it, but it won't make the exact situation worse. However, it probably wouldn't be a good idea anyway.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?Less anxious, less mad, less frustrated. Cutting will get me farther from feeling like that. That's why I want to. Make this feeling go away.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?It will probably only last until the morning. Seeing as it's 11:30 at night right now and I'll probably go to sleep soon, not very long. I might SI more in the morning because I feel like I didn't do enough the night before or because I wouldn't want to feel like I wasted a tool.
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in?I could just go to sleep. I'm tired anyway. I could yell at the friend, but I really don't feel like it. Sleeping it off will give me time to process it and talk to my friend when he's not messed up.
how long will that change last, and what will i do then?I'm not sure. The anxious feeling is seeming to be ever constant lately, so I'm not really sure what I can do about that. I'll just distract myself or go out and do something...
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?If I SI, I'll probably feel bad about it. I'll not really feel like doing a lot because I'll be paranoid about someone seeing. If I just go to sleep, I'll probably feel a little better than I do now.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?I really want to SI... I think this is helping me understand why.
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?I've been feeling urgy for a week or so now because of finals stress. However, an old friend of mine (who I just recently started talking to again) IMed me telling me all about how he bought weed and is high as a kite right now. This brings back old triggers, as he was part of the reason I started SI and have done so in the past. It's like I feel like an idiot for talking to him again.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Yes. I SIed because I didn't care. Numb. Angry. Betrayed.
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?I've gone on here, filled this out, breathed a little, thought it through more. I could go to sleep in a few minutes. I feel like it seems as though I'm using sleep to avoid this (which, admittedly, I do sometimes), but it really is time to sleep...
How do I feel right now? Anxious, angry, tired and worn out.
How will I feel when I am hurting myself? I'm not sure... it's a weird feeling I'm not sure how to describe...
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? After I'll probably feel relieved, a little better. In the morning, panicked and in "oh my god. wtf did I just do" mode...
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?Yep. It's totally avoidable.
Do I need to hurt myself?No, but that doesn't mean I don't want to.
