Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
- How do I feel right now?
very low and want to SI or OD - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Glad if I SI to feel the pain but if I OD and need help it will get worse - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
probably shame or going by mood just now indifference - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
not sure just now - Do I need to hurt myself?
yes, but trying to delay it
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.