Before...YUCK

[osc]

How will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The situation will not change. I will feel better for about 10 minutes and then feel guilty for giving in.

What will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring me relief. I won't feel as anxious or urgy. It takes away my control of the situation and makes for more secrets and more hiding.

How do i want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
In the long run, I want to feel good that I beat it. In the short term I want to stop feeling what I'm feeling. Hurting myself definitely takes me away from that long term goal.

If hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? What will i do then?
I'll feel better for 10-20 minutes. When it wears off, I'll probably hurt myself again.

What is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I can resist and busy myself. I can finish that scarf I started or go find some friends to help me get over the hump. The latter will take away my ability to self harm in this immediate moment. The change may last for the day and help me get through this.

How will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? How will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel stupid and defeated. If I go out with some friends tonight I'll feel better knowing I didn't give in.

What do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I am torn. I really want to feel good and SI brings me that.


Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I want to SI because the urges are driving me nuts. I am here because its become easy.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I have been here before and I've beaten this before. I felt great knowing I didn't give in. I busied myself with work...

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I have tried snapping my wrists with rubber bands
I have tried writing on myself with pen (has this worked for anyone?)
I took the day off and spent the day in my babe's arms.
I am here.
I talked to my mom - not about this but just to talk


How do I feel right now?
Emotionally weak. Physically my heart is racing and I am on a adrenaline rush.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I will feel extremely calm. I will relax.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I'll feel calm for a while but then I'll feel defeated for giving in. Tomorrow I'll feel stupid (like i said).

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I need to find a way to cope otherwise.

Do I need to hurt myself?
No

[osc]

And I made it.

[StevieLynn]

It's great that you made it! What did you do to stay away from SI? Tuck it away in the back of your mind so you can try it again the next time the urge hits.

Love,
Stevie

[Glockenspiel]

Writing on myself with a red pen has worked for me.

I'm an editor. We like our red pens.