before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Never Again
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before

Post by Never Again » Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:29 am

size=18]Before You Self-Harm[/size]
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

    these crazy strong feelings will stop, even for a few minutes.
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    a break.
    my strength.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    i don't know. at another time i'm sure i'd really regret it, i always do.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    good question. the relief won't last long. when it comes back then i guess i wouldn't know how to manage it because i don't now.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    watch a movie. punch the shit out of something. that's the problem, it will last forever and i don't know what i'll do. there's this never ending well of rage inside of me. when am i supposed to feel better?
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    i'll feel like shit tomorrow if i do. i'll have to make sure my sleeves don't slide and show the cuts. if i come up with something else, i'll still feel like my head is going to explode. but i won't have any cuts to hide.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
    i really want to cut the shit out of myself. i don't know what to do. the more i try to get out the anger, the stronger it gets.


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
I have love. I have love but I don't know where to put it.

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