slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
I'm good... - what had happened just before?
I got all jittery, and it was terrible, and quite honestly, I just wanted to sleep. - what were you thinking and feeling?
I was scared, and all I kept thinking, even while I was doing it was "No.. put it down... you know you don't have to do this..." - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Everything kept building up and building up inside of me. All these negative thoughts and taunts just kept replaying in my head. Like, everything that I've ever done wrong from babyhood on. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I was sitting on the computer, and all of a sudden my mind started racing. And I was tired, and I just wanted to sleep. I guess if I had gone to sleep as soon as I went back to my room, I would've been alright. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Lack of somone to turn to, I guess. I can't really address that. Honestly, I wasn't awake any more than 16 hours, so it wasn't lack of sleep. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried staying on BUS and distracting myself, but once I got tired, it didn't work too well anymore. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I don't know any way to stop my mind from racing like that, quite honestly, so I didn't really have anything else I could've done. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I don't have anything for that. If I'm depressed, I have ways of dealing with that. When I'm manic, I don't. I doubt I'd remember anything even if I knew, anyway. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I still feel out of control. I think that the only way I can resolve it is if I go see a T, and I'm too chicken to do so. - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes and easily. I think the flying thought bubbles are indicators. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
- Waking up my friend
- writing/drawing on myself
- Reading/watching something humorous
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
No one was awake, so nobody was going to walk in on me SI'ing. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
It was there for the taking. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I probably would've annoyed my friend. It's just that there was no one up. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
Probably decreased, in that emotional state. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
Being alone and waiting for the right feeling. If I really want to, I can make excuses for being alone. - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
Like a mashed cow patty. Helpless, I guess.
I think I'm going to head over to the nest tonight. I need some fluff.