Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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volta
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Before

Post by volta » Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:27 am

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    i will feel calmer for a while, then more upset.
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    hurting myself will bring a different anxiety to the situation, and will take away the urge.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    i want to feel like i'm recovering. hurting myself will get us farther from the situation.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    the relief will last a few minutes and then i'll cut some more.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    i could make some paper swans. that will make me smile, at least for a few minutes.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    tomorrow i will be disappointed if i hurt myself. if i do some origami or go for a walk i'll feel proud of myself.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

i really want rest. i can close my eyes for a bit and try to sleep.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

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PassingCloud
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Re: Before

Post by PassingCloud » Wed Jul 08, 2009 7:35 am

I hope writing this helped, anon. I think you did a good job on these questions.
Getting some rest sounds like a good idea. hope you managed to sleep, sweetie. :1hug:
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[I'm talking about my life.][I can't seem to get that through to you.]
[I'm not just talking about one person,][I'm talking about everybody.]
[I'm talking about form, I'm talking about content.][I'm talking about inter-relationships.]
[I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven!]
[Do you understand?]
[Finally?]
(one flew over the cuckoo's nest)

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volta
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Re: Before

Post by volta » Thu Jul 09, 2009 1:05 am

it did help, clouds. and i did get to sleep. thanks so much for the encouragement, cloudya.

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