After (sorry)

[arianwen1174]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
*they're burns, so not a lot to be done for now.

what had happened just before?
*Runaway thoughts about abuse and my abusers, and the pain that comes with that

what were you thinking and feeling?
*Thinking I should distract myself, try sleeping, at least just not SI. Feeling anxious, sad, hurt, angry.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
*A lot of it was because I had the opportunity after days of urging. Final straw was a voicemail message I received about 36 hours ago.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
*Had been urging for days but because of DH's sleep schedule hadn't had the opportunity to SI. Listened to a voicemail about 36 hours ago regarding my father/abuser. Was initial basically hysterical, then numb for quite awhile, then started feeling things again. Too much to handle.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
*Not enough sleep, although that's not always involved. I know I should have taken sleep meds and gone to bed much earlier and am working on being better about that. If I'm not awake at night when DH is asleep, it pretty much eliminates the chance to SI.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
*Used distraction and putting it off for awhile. They worked to a certain degree but the pull to injure was just so strong.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
*Not sure of any I hadn't already used.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
*I virtually always remember distraction & putting it off, thankfully.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
*Sure isn't. Not sure there will be resolution but I will do what I need to do to protect myself emotionally from my father, whom I have no contact with but wants to know how I am/if I'm okay. (Nope, I'm sure not.)

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
*Yes, without a doubt. I'll feel angry, sad, hurt.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
*Talking to others online, distracting myself (making a card, petting cats, playing around online), put it off.


About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
*Finally, my husband was asleep at a time when I was awake.

Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
*Sort of made the opportunity by staying up late, but that was more of being anxious about going to bed. Once DH got in bed too and was falling asleep, the opportunity was there for the taking.

What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
*I simply could not have injured and would have felt anxious, irritated, frustrated.

If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
*Increased initially, then possibly decreased--at least until the evening rolled around again (my worst time for urging).

What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
*Mostly being alone--DH is asleep or not home for a long enough time. Having proper tools, too. Knowing/feeling it is just going to happen and that is that.

If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
*This happens all the time and it irritates the crap out of me. Frustration!!!