Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i know the situation won't change at all and that cutting will just be a temporary relief - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? i want to know that i made it through without cutting. i don't want to want to. i don't want to need this.
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? so temporary
and i'm scared i'll start back to regular cutting. it's been 2 months now - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? i could journal, read, go to bed. i know in my heart that this situation just has to work itself out.
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? i'll feel like a failure if i cut and i'll still want to if i don't.
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? i need relief...now. i need something to ease what's building up inside me. the fear, the unknown. i'm so scared.
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? i dealt by cutting or i guess over the past 2 months i've just basically held my breath through the bad times and stayed super busy.
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? so far? i tried talking to a couple of friends. one was great but the other made me feel worse.
- How do I feel right now? edgy. shaky, scared. i feel so scared
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself? relief. i'll just have some place to put my feelings. my fear.
- How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? i'll feel disgusted with myself and then i'll want to do it again because i'm such an awful person. it's such an awful cycle.
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? it's life.....i can't avoid it unless i cut all people out of my life.
- Do I need to hurt myself?
