Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I might feel a little more satisfied with this moment, like i did something to ameleorate it somehow, even if i fail - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it might bring a sense of control, a way out of the helplessness. it will take away the possiblity of feeling like anything but crap tomorrow. it will take away my new idea that i've grown out of this and don't need it. it will hurt my new realtionship with my boyfriend. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i don't want to feel. i want this to GO AWAY. i'm sick of feeling it and sick of dealing with it. i have no idea. SI may not help in the long run. it might help in the short term make me feel more apathetic. or it might not. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
i don't know. until tomorrow. then i'll try plan B. that is, i'll figure out what plan B is tomorrow. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
just do homework and work. it won't change it, just delay. thus i see no end in sight to this current type of pain. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i'll feel like crap either way, but possibly worse if i hurt myself. better in a way though. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i really want to do something to get out of this crappy situation. i don't know how to honor that instinct. run off into the night. cry. do my homework. nothing is honoring.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i feel lonely, rejected, unwanted, unhappy (!!), trapped, hollow because of situations with my friends. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i've been here for quite a while. i don't know. i just continue feeling miserable i guess. sit with it. it just keeps getting worse. nothing changes to make it better. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
sat here feeling hollow. i can just do my work and go to bed. hope it feels a little less sharp in the morning. - How do I feel right now?
pretty miserable - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
nothing - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
nothing; more miserable - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i don't know how to make this go away. - Do I need to hurt myself?
i never need to hurt myself. sometimes i just want to.
<-- if okay