before

pinky · Post by **pinky** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:03 pm

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

it won't change the situation, she will never be here with me again...it probably won't even change how i am feeling
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

it won't bring anything nor take away anything
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

i wanted to answer these questions to remind me of the promise i made to her, never to hurt myself again,
i promised her to stay safe...

if i hurt myself, i will have broken the promise i made to her

i will keep my promise to her even though my heart is hurting so bad right now...

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

funkymusic · Post by **funkymusic** » Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:32 pm

Hold on to those promises, Pinky. I'm here for you.

If you slip now, how will you feel later? Don't break the promises. I'm sure Carmen would understand your pain, but don't you think she'd want you to hold on to yourself? Can you keep holding on? I think you can. I have faith in you.

I'm sorry for your pain and your loss.

han · Post by **han** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:29 pm

hope you can keep holding on pinky
i know it hurts but things will get less painful - time does that (cliche i know but true) and carmen wants you to be happy and si wont help you to be that so try to keep distracting yourself, playing with sueanne and dewkey and all your friends here on bus

pinky · Post by **pinky** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:09 pm

thank you Lena and Han, i stayed safe, i didn't break my promise to her...thank you Lena for having
faith in me when i was doubting myself...

i just couldn't bring myself let her down, even though she was a dog, it alwys seemed like she knew
when i was about to si and would cuddle with me and lay on top of me so i coudln't get off the bed, she was
and still is here to stop me...

han · Post by **han** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:21 pm

i am really pleased pinky

hugs and congratulations to you
han x

funkymusic · Post by **funkymusic** » Tue Oct 14, 2008 9:21 pm

han wrote:i am really pleased pinky

hugs and congratulations to you
han x

I second that motion. I think Carmen will always be with you.

Lena

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