slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. Yes.
- what had happened just before?
Nothing in particular...first time I'd just woken up, then again when I got home later, once again had had a sleep and just woken up... - what were you thinking and feeling?
I don't know what I was thinking, my thoughts were a right jumble. Feeling...very very confined and pressed in, my head was too full and everything outside my head felt odd and out of sync. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I don't think there was...I don't know why then. Because I could, then. It wasn't instead of some other time, it was as well as some other time. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
It wasn't my fault, I couldn't have made a different decision. I didn't arrive at a final straw, it just happened. - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I hadn't slept well last night but didn't feel any lack-of-sleep effects. There are lots of outside factors but I can't seem to be able to talk clearly at the moment so I can't write about them without a very specific question. - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I didn't. Stupid of me? Probably. I wasn't really in the right frame of mind to do anything at all. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Probably I could have tried an alternative to SI. But I don't know whether it would work, I just can't seem to feel full of enough physical pain today, and distracting myself was definitely not working. - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I really need to print my list of things out...it's on page 4 of my place at the moment...not the most useful place for it to be. And then I need to actually look at it... - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
It's not, my head still feels too full, and I feel sick and crappy in general. I have no idea how to make it better... - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes...And I don't know how to answer the second part, I don't see how I could not recognise it. It's recognising it that's the problem. - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I can't think of anything right now.
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
Nothing, I've had opportunities all day long and they were all equally appealing. - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
It was there. - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I don't know. Badly, I expect. I'd possibly have made an opportunity, or just waited until one was available. I'd probably have been very grumpy to people, or tearful. - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
Increased. - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
There's no right feeling. Being alone is generally helpful - other people complicate matters. Being alone and feeling like I need to SI, having enough time, and having the means to deal with any wounds. - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
Awful and trapped.
