I wasn't able to fill in the questions about opportunities. Had troubles understanding it...maybe it's just too late, I don't know.
After:
Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
no wounds, because no SI - what had happened just before?
nothing special...I can't really figure out. I'm not sure if I had urges.
I had a pretty bad night with a lot of nightmares. I got up, feeling a bit depressed, and still having troubles with SSRI discontinuation syndrome. I think I felt overwhelmed by the fact it was about 3PM and I didn't know what to do the whole day. - what were you thinking and feeling?
I felt lonely and had this general feeling about "something is wrong", but I couldn't figure out *what* was wrong. I tend to have this feeling quite often. I felt very hopeless about my future. - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Well..I went out, to buy food. It was necessary - but I drew money (which is not a good thing, having cash money means I can order a pizza) and then, in the supermarket, I started to buy needless things like gumdrops, cookies...at this point, I had given up. - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I certainly shouldn't have drawn cash. I maybe shouldn't even have gone out to buy food. I had rice at home.
I felt bad while being outside...just because of all those pretty people, skinny, good-looking..I saw myself in the window of the bus and thought I'm very ugly and fat. I was very scared of all the people...when I drew money, 2 men were waiting, standing behind me, with lots of beer..I was literally expecting them to hit me or to scold me...
same in the supermarket, while standing in the line...a couple of laughing people behind me. I was waiting for them to laugh at me (because I'm obviously very good to laugh at). - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I felt bad because of the nightmares, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it. Keep in mind it's a dream. Not reality.
About feeling lonely and hopeless...well...don't think I can change this right now, honestly... - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
Today? None.
ah...no. I took a bath. it was nice, but in the end not very helpful. - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
As I wrote above...not to go out...not to draw money... - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
I could write down something like an emergency plan. Like "things to do when having binge eating urges".
I maybe should buy more things like rice, noodles which I can eat in case of need. Rice is not making me binge. - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
No. And I don't think I can do anything about it right now..it's a long-term-thing, I have to work it out on therapy. - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes..probably...well, let's say, for sure. I usually recognize the urges when I start thinking things like "you *need* to eat right now." - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
-Go out for a walk. Summer is over soon *sighs with relief* - no "too hot outside"-excuses anymore.
-fill out the "before"-questionaire. Didn't occur to me today.
-ehm..well. No clue about the third thing.
