before questions

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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depressed1
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before questions

Post by depressed1 » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:26 am

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:



how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
i will feel better for a couple days and then notice another scar and start feeling sad again

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it will help me reduce my emotional pain for a while and then it will give another scar and more fights with parents and worrying friends

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to feel like i don't need to hurt myself aymore to cope with my problems, it is pushing me away from feeling that way

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
4-5 days maybe a week, feel bad again and then resist cutting as long as i can until i cut again

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? write more poems, it will help me let my feelings out, maybe the night if i'm lucky, feel sad again and want to cut again and resist it until i do again


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? better until about a week if i'm lucky, i will still want to cut again


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
cut again, tell someone so they can help me or find another way of coping with it

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i keep causing people pain so i feel i deserve pain, its a stress reliever and an emotional release for me and i'm too stressed and have been holding my emotions in for too long

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? yes, talked to people or wrote poems, i felt sad but talking or writing helped for the time being


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? tried to find a way to keep my mind distracted avoid sharp objects, tell parents or a friend that i can talk to about this


How do I feel right now?
like hurting myself, nearly suicidal, like shit, useless, worthless, in pain, angry, depressed, distressed, over burdened

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
i will feel sad angry relieved and ashamed, sorry even

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
i will feel more relieved a little sorry ashamed and sad, tomorrow i will feel better and just worried my parents will see the cut marks

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
not very well, yes if i can find better coping methods or find correct help in positive ways

Do I need to hurt myself?
i don't need to but i really want to so i can feel better
I'm not the one you want i'll only let you down i guess you could say i'm just feeling sorry for myself (intensity in ten cities by chiodos)

and all is quiet but the drop of my gun as i want to belong to someone, but maybe life's not for everyone (black orchid by justin furstenfeld)

REPLIES VERY APPRECIATED!!!!!!

SI free since
feb 3rd..

Han is my wifey!!!!!!

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